Words can inspire

On the way into work today, I heard one of the essays from the new This I Believe series from National Public Radio. I've enjoyed most of the entries from this series I've heard and the one this morning (I think it was repeated from an earlier time) was especially moving. It was titled, "Adapting to the Possibilities of Life." It was written and narrated by Donald Rosenstein: a doctor who is the clinical director of the National Institute of Mental Health. He specializes in psychiatric care of the medically ill. He relates how, on seeing his young son's reaction to an exciting event, he realized that his son was autistic. This, of course, changed everything. It not only meant that he, his wife, his daughter and his son would now be forced into new ways of doing everything, it also meant that certain dreams they had about the future were never going to happen. As the title said, they were going to have to adapt to their new life.

But, some good things came out of this, too. New ways of looking at life. New ways to help other people with similar problems. Realizing strengths in themselves they might not have known about. So, that now, given the same stimulus, they have a different response. They no longer panic when their son acts a certain way. Their daughter is no longer embarrassed by her brother's behavior. The line in the essay that reached out and grabbed was this:

"I believe that "reframing a problem" can help to overcome it. But adaptation is not the same as becoming tolerant of or inured to something. Adaptation allows for creative possibilities." Our society is so obsessed with changing everything or controlling everything that we can't seem to acknowledge the usefulness of adapting. If the price of gasoline gets too high, we insist the only thing that will return our lives to normal is for the price to drop again. The other option is to adapt and change our driving habits. When someone acts in a way we don't approve of, instead of adapting to it (and thus "condoning" it), we insist on changing that person into our model of how they should act. Just because we learn to live with the situation doesn't mean we approve of it. If I break my leg, I would be foolish to refuse to walk with crutches and take it easy until the leg has healed. Do I wish I hadn't broken my leg? Yes, if I could magically change things, I wouldn't have broken my leg but I can't change the situation. So, in making the best of it, I sit around, with my leg up, and read some books I haven't had time to read before.

There is a real power in knowing when you should try to change a situation and when you should adapt and accept the situation.