"There's a good boy"

That's how my grandmother used to end every sentence to me when I was a little boy and she was asking me to do something. "Would you bring that bag of groceries into the house? There's a good boy." When she would be babysitting me, she'd say, "It's getting close to bed time. Go take your bath. There's a good boy." I always did what my grandmother asked me to do.

I remember this like it happened yesterday but that would have been over 50 years ago. And I remember the thought that went through my head when she used that phase. "Well, she's already acting like I'll do it and that I'm a good boy. I guess I have to do it now." It was her expectation that I'd do my duty and she was rewarding me for it that got me to never refuse to do what she asked. I didn't want to disappoint her. She never bribed me with treats or told me about a punishment if I didn't do it. She just assumed I would and let me know that.

Or it could have just been a phrase she used. I never noticed her saying it to my cousins, my parents, my aunts and uncles or my grandfather but maybe I just didn't notice. Besides, I was just a kid. I couldn't have been more than 8 years old at that time. I like to think she really did think I was a good boy and that she could depend on me to do the right thing. I wasn't perfect but I always tried to make her proud.

I've always said that we all have regrets in our life. Maybe I'm being pessimistic and some people regret nothing they've ever done in their life. But I do have some regrets. One them is that when my grandmother died and we all got together for her funeral, I didn't tell this story. There was just a small ceremony in the funeral home and just grandma's surviving children and my cousins were there. The minister gave a short message and then asked if anyone had anything else to say. Were there any stories anyone wanted to tell? None of us said anything. I always regret that I didn't tell this story. For one thing, it might have prompted the others to tell stories of their own. But mostly, it would have been nice to share this simple case of someone expecting the good from someone else and encouraging it.