Stories from my childhood

My kids and I were talking and my daughter mentioned how she gets nervous when needing to talk with people about things or needing to tell someone that she needs something. I thought it might help her by talking about difficulties I've had when I was younger, too. In fact, I'm going to try to find more instances of things I struggled with when I was younger so I can let my children know I had problems like they do.

This is a story from when I was in the second grade. I was about 7 years old. I always had trouble talking in front of a group. And I always had trouble memorizing things. Interestingly, I could memorize things if I wasn't purposely trying to memorize them. But as soon as the pressure of being forced to memorize was put on me, my brain froze!

In the second grade, we had to memorize poems and recite them in front of the class once a month. The teacher, to her credit, allowed us to volunteer to speak. She would allow a few students to recite each day until everyone had done that month's poem. I always waited until the end of the month.

My mother knew I had to do this and worked especially hard with me to help me memorize the poem. I would finally learn them but the standing in front of the class was what held me back. So, she would give me some kind of treat when I told her that I'd recited the poem. One month, I remember was especially trying. I don't remember why but I was putting it off and my mother asked me each day if I had finished and I finally just said yes - I had recited the poem. I hadn't, of course. It scares me how easily I lied when I was younger. I knew it was wrong but I guess I thought it was better to lie and, maybe, get away with something than to tell the truth and suffer.

Mom gave a sigh of relief and gave me the treat (I forget what she would give me). I just assumed I'd do the recitation on the last day of the month as usual. But my mother was also a good person who helped out at the school from time to time. She came to the school one day to prepare for a party we ere having at school and she happened to talk with my teacher. Mom mentioned how happy she was that I had gotten over my fear and had recited that month's poem earlier than usual. Well, the teacher, again to her credit, knew her students and knew who had recited and who had NOT recited and let Mom know. Well, I don't remember the look exactly but I remember that it was a mixture of disappointment and anger. It was enough to scare me. I can only imagine how she felt. I had really embarrassed her and she had always told me that lying was a terrible thing to do. Why had I not just told her I was afraid?

The teacher said I could recite the poem right there and I did. Crying the whole time. I don't remember what happened after that but I know my mother would have told my father, too, and he would have been upset, too.

I would like to say that this incident broke me of my habit of procrastinating but it didn't. I still have trouble with that like when our cars are due to be inspected.