The lottery where everyone wins

I remember the furor when states first started thinking about the idea of having lotteries to generate income. That was something criminals did. Why would the state do it (other than the fact that some people see any government as a criminal activity)? Would the states no longer prosecute the bookies and the mob for running numbers games?

It finally happened in 1964 in New Hampshire and, as we all know, almost all of the states now run lotteries and continue to prosecute anyone but themselves who do such a thing (unless it's for a good cause like a church or a youth organization). But once everyone did it, then people had many choices of where to buy their lottery tickets. So, the states made different lotteries with different advertisements and cards with different pictures on them. Every year it seems our state comes out with a new lottery that is even more fun than the previous lotteries.

So, a few years ago, when they were making a big deal about a new game and advertising it heavily, I noticed in the full disclosure section that only half the money would be paid out in prizes. The rest would be going to projects around the state (like picking up the litter of discarded losing lottery tickets). So, I decided to start a lottery of my own and sent an e-mail around our office (when we could still do that easily). It said,

Announcing a new lottery. In keeping with the traditions of the state lottery, I've come up with a scheme that will be fun and exciting for everyone. Just come to my desk and give me a dollar and I will give you fifty cents back! No waiting for a daily or a weekly drawing. Everyone is a winner. Don't forget, you can't win if you don't play.

No one took me up on my offer. It's a good thing, I guess, or the state would have had to arrest me.