Did I help or make it worse?

I was reading another blog today where the writer was wondering about where we get our ideas about what are good pills and supplements to take for our health. It made me think about my mother and I wrote this comment:

My mother lived alone until she broke her hip when she was 89. So, she came to live near us where we took care of organizing her pills (and other things). All her life, Mom complained that after she read the pills' side effects inserts, she found she was having those problems and would insist the doctor change the prescription. Then she'd read the new inserts and see those symptoms. So, after she moved here and we took over that part of her care, we didn't let her read the side effects inserts. Sadly, Mom died at 91 - about a year and a half after moving here and our taking over her care. Maybe having imagined illnesses was better than getting the real thing.

If you've been involved in the care of a loved one who died, you cannot help but feel guilty. "If I'd just been more understanding," or, "Why did I insist on that course of care?" are things I continue to worry about to this day. I think everyone goes through it but it still hurts. I still miss Mom terribly and wish I could have known what to do differently. But God has his own plan for our life and nothing we can do will add a second to it. I keep telling myself.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart,

but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21 New International Version