Still can't hear

It's getting a little worrisome. I think I'm mostly over the cold/flu I got almost two weeks ago. But the hearing loss I got as part of it is still bothering me. I can hear very little in either ear. It's amazing how it has affected me. I no longer want to talk to anyone because I'll miss most of what they say. I'm always looking round to see if I've missed someone tying to talk to me. I dread going into work, going to church or even doing something as simple as getting a haircut (boy do I need one) because I'll miss an instruction, appear to snub someone or get a crew-cut because I misinterpret what some is saying to me. It certainly has given me a new perception of what it is like for millions of people with hearing loss. Perhaps this is God's plan for this problem. I want to pray for recovery but maybe I should just let God take care of it in His own time. Maybe I haven't learned my lesson yet. I have gone to two doctors so far (the Emergency Room and an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist) but nothing they've prescribed has given me my hearing back, yet. At least the sinus infection seems to be gone.

I'm going to do a little bit more study on this. Is it selfish of me to ask for healing when so many other people are faced with much worse conditions? I know God won't do anything out of His will just because I ask for it but should I even ask for healing? It seems so inconsiderate of the world in general and God's plans specifically to be asking for things for myself. But this is affecting my family, too. The kids find it hard to talk with me and my wife and I can't carry on a normal conversation. I think they're getting a little frustrated at work, too. Not that they blame me for not getting well but everyone has their job to do and if they have to take more time to deal with me, it takes time away from their own work. I find it hard to concentrate. I describe it like holding two pillows up to the side of your head while you're standing in a room with a diesel engine running. Yes, it's not only the lack of hearing but the noise coming from my own head. The ear folks call it tinnitus. That's a nice, quiet name for something that sounds like a tractor idling next to you.

I wouldn't be so worried but a similar thing happened last summer. I got a much less severe cold and a week later, I suddenly (over the course of an hour or so) lost hearing in my left ear. I treated it myself for a while with decongestants. Then, I made a planned week-long trip to see my mother and couldn't do anything about it while I was there. When I finally got to the doctor, they weren't able to reverse the hearing loss and I've been going around since with the hearing impaired in my left ear. How I long to have only that much hearing loss now! I guess that's one lesson I've really learned in this: For as bad as I thought my hearing loss was before, it's much worse now. Dear God, please take this burden from me - if only for my family's sake.