Finally starting to feel better - and other things

I finally started to feel better yesterday, Saturday, May 2. That's almost a month after I began to feel sick. It has been a progression of problems: first the flu (or a really bad cold), then a sinus infection, then hearing loss and plugged up ears (with fluid build-up in my middle ears), then I started to get an itchy rash. Then, when I went to a second appointment with the ear, nose and throat doctor, he got worried about the look of my eyes. I thought it was just my allergies kicking in a bit early but he thought not. He sent me to a ophthalmologist who said I had an infection in my eyes. She said the over-the-counter eyes drops with allergy medicine I was taking was just making it worse. She prescribed some eye drops with antibiotic and steroids and that seems to have finally done the trick. My eyes are feeling much better and the skin rash has gone away. My hearing is still not good but it has improved over the last week and I feel my ears popping as the pressure equalizes in them. I think Monday at work will be the first day since April 7 that I'll feel like I'm in control of my mind and body. Before this, I felt like I was just struggling to stay aware of what was going on around me.

On Friday, May 1, we had a small lunch with the fellow that was fired on April 2 (I wrote about it here). It was sad in some ways but he has always handled his problems with a sense of humor. It was almost as if he felt he needed to cheer us up and encourage us. He has a couple of possible directions to go. He's started writing again, for one. Previously, he wrote a number of magazine articles on programming and even wrote a book on using software components in the Java programming language (they are called Java Beans). But this time, he may try his hand at fiction. He is an accomplished musician and is teaching a guitar student and playing the piano in a restaurant one night a week. Our lunch was at one of his favorite Chinese restaurants and it is amazing to watch as he converses with the waitresses in Chinese. He also speaks Portuguese, Russian and Spanish. It's almost as if he has so many talents that he will have a hard time deciding which direction to go. I would imagine he will do well once he decides and he will probably look back at this disruption in his life as a good break from a stagnant position at our company.

What makes this more difficult is that I (and others) think his dismissal was unjustified. He hadn't been given enough time to make the transition from database administrator to a member of the software group. There is a real sense of being wronged here. Did they really need to fire him right now with the economy in such bad shape? My friend not only has to try to find a new job but has to contend with the questions about why he lost the old one. How do you correct what isn't fully explained? Perhaps there is nothing to correct.

While I think it is important to forgive and move on, I think this is one of the hardest things to do in life. We don't want to let the people who caused us pain to know it was a good thing in the end. We want those who cause us grief to also suffer - and the longer the better! Making the best of a bad situation could be thought of as relieving the guilt of the people who caused the disruption in our lives. But isn't it better for us, and those who depend on us, to get back on our feet as soon as possible and to put these bad things behind us? Harboring anger and resentment only makes our situation worse. It only makes improving our situation more difficult. I think that is what my friend is doing and I congratulate him for that. He's a better man than I am!

Colossians 3:12-14 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." NIV