Dealing with fear

Going to visit my mother reminded me of two stories about how we deal with fear. The first comes from my mother. She mentioned that she had always been fearful during lightning storms. I think it's natural and we should all be a little afraid when we hear the rumbling at the start of a storm. But her fear was more than that. But when I was a little boy, she didn't want me to be afraid of the storms, too, so she put on a brave face and acted as if she wasn't afraid. I don't remember that but I also don't remember being afraid of lightning storms when I was young, either. I'm not crazy - I don't go out during a storm unless I can't help it (there's another story there for a later time, right Sweetheart?). But my mother's love for me and her desire to help me from being afraid let her overcome her fear if just a little. And she helped me to not be afraid.

As we talked this over, it brought to mind how I felt during my first storm at sea when I was working aboard ocean-going research vessels for the US Geological Survey. Operating a boat is an expensive proposition and the fact that there are few qualified vessels that can be used means that schedules must be created and kept. So, if the weather is bad, you must go out to sea and do your work because the next group using the boat has been planning to go out when you get back. Also, while you're out at sea, you can't just come into port every time the wind picks up. You do come in for a hurricane but that's about it.

So, it's inevitable that when you spend three to four weeks at a time hundreds of miles off the coast, you're going to get caught in a storm from time to time. I vividly remember my first one. It started small but built up pretty quickly. There was warning because the ship's crew always kept a close eye on marine forecasts. But all that meant was that you had time to tie everything down that might move. In this particular storm, the winds were constant and the waves were high (about 12 - 15 feet if I remember correctly) given the size of our boat (by definition, a boat is less than 200 feet long while a ship is 200 feet long or more). The ship was moving around a lot. You had to hold on whenever you moved from place to place and when the storm got worse, you had to hold on even when you were seated. As I sat in the galley with some of the crew after our noon meal, you could hear the waves crashing into the hull. It sounded like someone was hitting the steel hull with a large steel hammer. I thought it was the anchor being knocked against the hull but the crew members laughed. "If that's the anchor, we're in big trouble," they said. "The anchor is tight against the ship and doesn't move until it's released. What you're hearing are just the waves hitting the hull." I couldn't believe it. I admit I was a little scared. But I looked around at the crew and the other scientists who'd been through this before and they all seemed so calm. It made me feel OK. If they weren't worried, everything must be all right. All I had to worry about was keeping our equipment from falling off the benches and making sure my coffee didn't spill into the electronics.

I try to remember this when I start to feel afraid. I look around at the people I trust and are dealing with the same things I am. I also remember the verse in Matthew 8:

Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples. Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, "Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!" Jesus responded, "Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!" Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm. The disciples were amazed. "Who is this man?" they asked. "Even the winds and waves obey him!" Matt 8:23-27 New Living Translation

Jesus wasn't on the research vessel to rebuke the wind and waves but I knew I could trust him and I could trust the reactions of the crew. Everything was going to be all right.