Why last year was hard

As I said in yesterday's post, there were many reasons why I didn't write more last year. But none of them should have kept me from writing at least a short note from time to time. But I'm going to list two reasons I used for not writing. In this post, I'll list the first, and hardest. My mother-in-law, Angeline (everyone called her Angie), was in declining health and it just gradually got worse until she passed away just before Thanksgiving last year. That's her picture at the right - before she started to show signs of the dementia that would take her life.

Angie was a wonderful mother, grandmother, wife and mother-in-law. She and I got along great. She was a big science fiction fan and we enjoyed watching The Day the Earth Stood Still every time it was on TV. She also liked The Twilight Zone and Star Trek. She preferred the original series even though her husband Ralph was a look-alike for Patrick Stewart of the second series. She didn't see the resemblance but everyone else did.

On the left is a picture of my wife Cindy with her mother. They were the best of friends and did everything together. In 2006, when I started this blog, we decided to move from our house that was about a mile away from Angie to build onto her house so we'd be there when she needed us. For most of that time, it was the other way around. She helped us. We enjoyed being with her because she was just fun to be with. She always had a funny answer and kept us going. 

But about four years ago, we noticed her getting forgetful. She started needing help with little things she'd always known how to do. Then she started to forget who some people were and then started forgetting that the house she was in was hers. She wanted to go home. We had to do more and more things for her but her pride sometimes got in the way. It was hard for her to admit that she forgot some things and that was the hardest part for us to deal with.

The picture to the right is Angie and her two grandchildren. We were used to her coming over to our part of the house to ask about things or to ask us to take her home. But then around Memorial Day last year, she was returning a dish and instead of putting it on the table, she bent over to put it on the floor. She lost her balance, fell down and hurt her arm. We called the ambulance and they took her to the hospital and they found she had a fracture in her arm. But instead of admitting her to look for further problems or to get her into a rehabilitation hospital to learn how to cope, they just sent her home with instructions to get a cane! That was the beginning of the end. She could hardly move and certainly couldn't learn to use a cane without instruction and practice. Cindy had already been sleeping in the room nearest Angie's house in case Angie needed her during the night but now, Cindy had to sleep in the room with her mother. Angie got worse quickly and seemed to lose all hope.

We had to get a hospital bed for her and got health aides to come in to help. Cindy was losing sleep and hope and it was terrible to see. In the last couple of weeks, after the visiting nurses warned us that the end was near, Cindy slept on a mattress next to her mother's bed and held her hand through the night. One night, Angie just stopped breathing. I thought Cindy would fall apart because of how close she was to her mother but there was too much to do. Cindy kept busy and still remains busy doing things in her mother's name or because she knows her mother would like that.

This house will never be the same. But we are all better because of Angie.